Self-sufficiency is such a powerful, deceptive distraction that can keep us from living in God’s will and bound.
I really thought (my weak flesh thought so) the road to the end of self-sufficiency (such pride that kept me from God) was all uphill with no turnouts and no let up in sight. What I’m discovering is that when I begin to experience Christ replacing my self-sufficiency with His provision that life is downhill from that point. I’ve lived with so much shame (mainly of not being able to live up to everyone’s expectations nor being able to provide financially for my family) and last night, God told me that my shame was the result of my desperately wanting to hold onto self-sufficiency. Wow, that was a revelation.
If I come to Christ, I must be willing to die to self. What is Mark’s self? Selfishness, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear of man (nearly paralyzed by what others think of me), jealousy, coveting, strife, the love of money (mammon), wanting my way (I won’t be free in Christ if I cling to wanting my way), not loving my wife the way I should (never a good thing), fear, worry, anxiety, the weight and illusion of self-sufficiency (so deceptive and binding), and my one of my favorites, self-pity.
These are what Jesus is asking me to die to. Pretty ugly list, right? And SO spiritually H-E-A-V-Y.
Thank you, Jesus, for asking me, and for showing me how to die to self, how to relieve me of “self.” It’s so wonderful to be able to unload self (my ways), and to exchange them for Your light beauty.
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (for my liberty and salvation from self to live in/with Christ).
Galatians 2:20
Jesus is SO amazing. And, this life in Him just keeps getting more joyful all the time.
God bless,
Mark