I realize some of the following may offend some people. That’s not my intention. This topic has been on my heart for decades. I used to see so many men talking badly about their wife when discussing marriage items with other men. I could never understand that. One set of my grandparents used to love each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. It was beautiful and really made a lasting impression on me. They always loved each other and I always thought that maybe, one day, I could have the same kind of beautiful relationship with my own wife.
I never understood a marriage where each partner jeered the other to the point that it undermined their marriage and relationship. Couples often stayed together more out of obligation than from a standpoint of strength created by truly loving each other. I don’t get how the media and even preachers joke and ridicule marriage and then act surprised that divorce is rampant. And then, why would anyone want to be intimate with a mate that’s bullying them the way society has accepted and expected marriage to be lived out?
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker (weaker “vessel” in the KJV) than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:25-26
Men, as the stronger vessel in marriage, use the strength God has ordained for you – and given you – to love your wife. Tell your wife you love her, build her up, help her to become more like Jesus, defend her, protect her, encourage her, take an interest in her, spend time getting to know her better, let her know how much she means to you, buy her things, flowers, cards, take her out to a meal, etc.
Never use your strength to put her down, to belittle her, to talk badly about her with other men when talking about spouses, to intimidate her or to make her afraid of you, to abuse her in any way, etc.
If you do use your strength to hurt her in any way, apologize, ask her forgiveness and tell her you are asking God to help you change your behavior towards her. Tell her, that with Jesus’ help, you desire to become one with her – not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well – from here on out.
I really believe that if more men did this, we would see a turn around in the divorce rate in this country as well as in the church that has become so much like the world in so many ways. I truly believe more marriages would thrive, be happy, and blessed. And I believe divorce would lose its grip on society.
So how do we turn marriage around?
Since we’ve been dating, my wife has been praying and asking God to make her the kind of wife I need. Her example and prayer really impacted me and I began to pray that God would make me the type of husband she needs.
The answer to healing marriages is really pretty simple. We just need Jesus to help us turn things around. All we have to do is be willing to let God work in us. Of course the devil oppose us, but God is more powerful.
“God, I want to have a revived, thriving marriage in You and to be truly one with my mate. In Jesus’ Name, please help me to be the kind of spouse my husband/wife needs.”
Because God loves marriage, He’ll be faithful to answer our prayer.
God bless,
Mark