Silverwind, 1980s: “My prayer for you is that you will stay with the Lord long enough for Him to remove all your fears.”
O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.
Psalm 84:12
I was remembering how life was before God got my attention, until He turned my heart and life towards Him. Life was so unpredictable and hard for me with the relentless migraines, being compared to others, not living up to expectations, the tremendous fear of what others thought of me, and CCPTSD.
I was scared so much of the time. I couldn’t concentrate, hid my panic the best I could; was dizzy; couldn’t breathe deep much of the time or focus; and people often wondered what was wrong with me. I tried so hard to be, act and look “normal”.
Aside from the obvious migraines I was too scared to tell anyone about (at the age of 11 – following a doctor-based TV show with a man who died with symptoms the migraines gave me), I didn’t know I was dealing with the increasing, suffocating, damaging symptoms of CCPTSD.
Where was God leading me to in all of this uncertainty and pain? What did He have in the future for me?
I cried out to God so much of the time. I knew I needed Him to help me. I knew I couldn’t do life without finding Him, and without Him (somehow) making sense of it all, and – the most difficult thing – making it all better.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Before God showed me how to put my total trust in Him, life was really scary, confusing, and awful. It was a major nightmare.
Now, all these years later, I can’t even express my thanks to Him for taking me under His wing and teaching me that I can trust Him with every storm in life and that He’ll work everything for my good as I trust in Him. This is where He was leading me to all this time. To the matchless place of being able to trust Him in all things knowing that He’d work everything together for good in my life. What a miraculous change this knowledge brought to my life.
And, while I’m still learning to trust Him deeper, I now I know the true secret to life. It’s knowing Him. It’s experiencing the most incredible thing this life can give anyone, “blessed is the man/woman that trusteth in thee.”
“All you ever have to do, Mark, is follow where I (God) lead, trust me in all situations and circumstances while always remembering that I will never leave you nor forsake you. Never. You’ll see and experience Me working all things together for your good. This will keep you resting in Me, in My love for you.”
Whatever God, in His Sovereignty, allows in your life, seek Him. Give Him all of it. Let Him teach you “blessed is the man/woman that trusteth in thee.” And, somehow, He’ll take what you thought was hard and awful and turn it into a glorious thing that will touch and strengthen others. Only He can do this in our life. He is all we need.
And, He keeps pouring more of His beautiful truth, holiness (wholeness), love, peace, mercy, grace, rest and joy – all that He is – into our life every day…
Truly, ABOVE all else, I will say of the Lord, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.
God bless,
Mark
Note: While we may not agree with everything a particular church or Christian group teaches or believes, there are times when we can be blessed by something outside the realm of our current understanding of God.