First, Ann and I want to thank Jesus for giving us the opportunity to meet with Dr. Claire Britton and for sending us to Oregon to attend Christ’s Center Church. We are so grateful for Pastors Jon and Gordon, for the church counselor, Chuck, and for the many wonderful people at that church who showed us the love of Jesus through the childlike lives they lived.
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).
Mark 10:9
For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:
Isaiah 28:10
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Thessalonians 5:18
Praise God for His unwavering faithfulness. We have so much to be thankful for.
Dr. Claire Britton had just asked us not to leave Southern California until we’d been filled with the Spirit. This powerful little man in the Lord knew some things we didn’t. Sure enough, within a few weeks, the Holy Spirit fell on a tiny church we were visiting in the San Fernando Valley. The Spirit penetrated everyone in the building no matter their church affiliation. What a glorious experience. Just like Jesus being taken to the wilderness following the Spirit descending on Him, we had no idea what tests were to follow…
Wow, there’s so much to share about the last several decades. Jesus is our powerful Redeemer.
I (Mark) had my first migraine in 1963 at age 11. Eventually, they became debilitating and led to my severe PTSD. I have or have had a broken back, anxiety and panic disorder, long bouts of deep depression, insecurity and inferiority, chronic fatigue, brain fog, a nervous breakdown, missing genes leaving me susceptible to toxins, the fear of man, and a devastating work history that meant years of food stamps and welfare. I had to stop relations with my family in order to save my marriage and to experience emotional healing. I’ve dealt with so much frustration, unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy, shame, anger and confusion. Well-intentioned Christians thought I had demons and tried to cast them out of me. At one point in my life, I was so bitter I couldn’t turn my neck more than about half way to either side. Life was a mess.
At times, my wife and I have lived with no hope (I mean NO hope at all) and really believed that satan was stronger than God. Everything I did turned out to be a disappointment.
Through it all, Jesus, my incredible wife and two daughters have loved and stood by me. I can’t say enough about their dedication and determination to help me.
After attending Azusa Pacific University in the 1970s, I began attending Bible college in Eugene in 1980. I was doing really well in my classes but was questioning a lot of the coursework. As a result, I ended up in my school counselor’s office a few times when, finally, he advised me to go home and ask my wife what she wanted me to do with my life. I thought that was an odd request, but I followed through with it.
Soon after, I decided to quit school which embarrassed and dumbfounded my parents, their friends and cousins. I didn’t know what we were going to do. My nervous breakdown was soon to follow.
We had met a couple from the Southern California area who’d moved to Eugene and opened a Christian bookstore. They kept telling us about a church they were attending north of Eugene. With nothing to lose, we attended one Sunday and were completely caught off-guard by the jovial pastors and child-like members. It was so refreshing.
The more we attended the church, the more I saw husbands truly loving their wives in action. They didn’t talk badly of them and defended them in a way I’d never seen. Couples appeared to be truly one. Parents embraced and loved their children, and young people of all ages interacted with each other without the customary age-segregating issues. There was so much peace, and joy.
We had gotten to know many of the wonderful people at the church and were having fellowship at a church friend’s home one day. Myself and two other men were sitting on the front porch on a cold, foggy afternoon when I heard geese flying above the fog – a pretty unique experience for someone raised in Los Angeles.
Immediately, God spoke to me and said, that while I couldn’t see Him, just like I couldn’t see the geese above the fog, He was going to teach me to hear His voice. I was thrilled and, on the drive back to our apartment, I told my wife what had happened. We were excited, but, at the same time, wondered what God was up to. Little did we know how much healing we needed and how valuable His voice would become. Line upon line (exactly how one of the pastors told us God would work in our lives), God was beginning His deep healing work in us.
We were beginning to sense that God had not brought us to Oregon for me to finish school, but so that we could go through a healing process by attending this church. The prayers we’d prayed about wanting to know God in a much deeper way, while living in the Southern California area, were beginning to be answered.
“(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”
1 Timothy 3:5
In about 1981, my precious wife (Ann) had her own nervous breakdown. She was working as the church secretary at the time while I was being trained by the church to become a pastor. We were good friends with the church counselor (Chuck) and I took Ann to meet with him. After talking with him for about 30 minutes, he told me Ann’s condition was due to me. I was somewhat bewildered but thought Ann would be better soon so I could move on to becoming a pastor. God had a different plan. I also loved Ann and wanted to help her heal no matter what.
As part of our initial healing, Chuck gave me a book by Dr. H. Page Williams called, “Do Yourself a Favor; Love Your Wife.” This book would have a huge impact on our lives. Chuck had me read a number of other helpful titles as well. Chuck also had us listen to some meaningful Christian music. The devotion of our pastors and Chuck was indefatigable.
Over time, we came to realize that the strongholds (learned harmful behavioral patterns – due to his upbringing, Mark really didn’t know how to apologize which can be devastating to a family – my family had allowed in their lives were having a direct impact on my behavior and it was really destroying us – When passed on, generational strongholds can often be even more powerful in our children’s lives so it’s important to discern them and repent to keep them from harming future generations.
Around 1988, about the time our second daughter was born, our church counselor, Chuck, finally presented me with an ultimatum. He said I needed to make the decision to cut all ties with my family back in California in order to keep Ann and I from ending up divorced. I had come to know Ann’s strong love for me and could no longer deal with my California family’s decimating generational strongholds. So I decided to write my parents telling them I could no longer have them in our lives. My parents could not understand our decision and, although we’d tried many times in the past, there was nothing we could do to help mend the relationship.
Since then, Jesus has taken us on a journey of healing and restoration. And I am certain it will continue until we get to Heaven.
One of the most important things God wanted me to learn was to lay my life down for my wife and to put my love for her above all else. Not knowing that it made Ann feel bad, I used to complain whenever I had to take the trash out. The first tangible action Jesus had me do was to take out our trash without grumbling about it. When one of the pastors discovered that I’d had a change of heart about the trash, he presented me with a trash can trophy in a church service.
About this time, the Lord spoke to my heart about my often intense, and off-balance appetite for football. For one thing, if USC was losing or lost a game, I could be angry about it for days. His peace was what He desired in my heart. He asked me to lay down football and to put all of my football energy and interest into loving Ann and our family. He wanted to replace football with a hunger and desire for Him and my family. He also asked me to lay down a career and to focus my attention on my wife and children.
Over the years, God’s prompted me to be more gentle with Ann, to understand all the incredible qualities and attributes He produced in her life that I needed, to hold her more, to be a better spiritual leader in our home, to protect her heart, to patiently wait for her, to buy her flowers, and cards, to open doors for her, to be a better and more attentive listener, to enjoy being with her more than anything else I may want to do, and to lead her into a deeper relationship with the Lord. Essentially, God’s made us “one” like I never thought possible and it’s amazing.
A couple of other things the Lord had us do were to memorize and post pertinent Bible verses on the walls of our home. He was teaching us how to use the sword of the Spirit in everyday life. We also finally read Merlin Carothers’ book, “Prison to Praise.” It would take us several more years to incorporate Merlin’s insights into our lives but his books would become very influential in our healing. (We were blessed to become friends with Merlin and his wife, Mary.)
God also had us attend some home school meetings. At one meeting, a lady gave a talk about how God had answered her prayers about disciplining her children in a more Godly way. Her talk was exactly what I’d been wanting in my own life. I incorporated the wisdom God had given her and it brought so much peace, respect, security, and love to our home.
Finally, God asked me to spend several days fasting and being alone with Him. This turned out to be a significant event and taught me the immense value of taking time to “still” oneself in the presence of the Lord.
After living in Oregon for about 13 years, and Tulsa, Oklahoma for three years, we’ve been living in the San Diego area since 1995. When we can, we like to go off-roading, hike, walk, cook together, ride bicycles, and sit close to each other on our back patio swing for hours.
Our two daughters have married two great young men.
In 2014, our oldest daughter, who had been mysteriously ill for many years, had been to numerous doctors, and had three surgeries, was diagnosed with Lymes Disease. She continues treatment and we’re hopeful the disease will be eradicated. One interesting note about her illness is that her medical tests revealed a missing gene. Later, I (Mark) had the same test with the same result. Without this gene, the body is not protected from toxins. This condition could help to explain many of the issues I’ve had in life including my anxiety disease, brain fog, learning and cognitive issues, mood swings, and migraine headaches.
Today, I (Ann, too, from time to time) send out daily emails to a list of people encouraging them in their Christian walk. I encourage them regarding marriage, children, the Christian walk, and how God has brought us to a place of trusting Him and of being able to cast all our cares on Him.
This site, and accompanying blog, was created to share the precious healing God is doing in our lives, how He’s calmed us down, how to let His peace rule in our hearts, three keys to Kingdom living, and on and on. We continue to be overwhelmed with “His ways” and the blessing they are when applied to our own weak, human ways. He continues to strengthen us, to build passion for each other in our marriage, and to set us free, indeed. We are eternally grateful for our salvation.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1 Peter 5:7
I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
Job 42:5
God bless you all,
Mark and Ann
*Page Song – His Eye Is On The Sparrow