“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
Proverbs 3:11
Our daughters were born in the 1980s. We were living in Oregon at the time and I was learning how to be a father.
One of the duties of a father is to discipline his children. Personally, I had been disciplined with a lot of anger and was often told, “Just wait til your father gets home.” I’m sure many of you can relate.
Since all I knew about disciplining my own daughters was what I had learned from my upbringing, I was carrying out discipline in the same way my parents had. However, the Lord helped me realize that something in my spirit wasn’t right. I had a lot of anger, unforgiveness and bitterness like my parents had. In my heart, I knew this wrong but I didn’t know how else to discipline.
Then, Annie and I attended a home school meeting in Springfield, Oregon. I had never been around such loving, peaceful, caring families. One of the meeting speakers was a gentle lady who talked about her own struggles with disciplining her children. I sat there listening to this Godly message and nearly started to cry. Through this woman’s testimony, God was being faithful to show me proper, Godly, loving discipline and I was so grateful.
Here’s what I learned and applied regarding child discipline.
Whenever a child needs to be disciplined, calmly take the child to a separate room. Help the child to understand what they did wrong by explaining to the child what they did wrong and show them applicable scriptures and how God wants to protect them from the consequences of that particular wrongdoing. Do all of this without becoming angry, resentful, unforgiving or bitter.
Next, spank the child using a wooden spoon (not your hand) until the child cries (the lady speaker recommended about 10 spanks) indicating true sorrow and repentance for their actions.
Now take the child in your arms and love them telling them they are forgiven, and their wrong action forgotten, just like it never happened and that you and God forgive and love them. Finally, take the child to another room (or back out to the other children) and play with them so they really feel forgiven and loved. Never act bitter towards the child following disciplinary action. You want to maintain an atmosphere of love and complete forgiveness in your home.
This type of discipline reflects the discipline of our heavenly Father and instills a proper mindset of knowing right from wrong, security, forgiveness and love. And, always make sure that you, as a parent, repent of any of your own wrongdoings.
Once I implemented this type of discipline, the entire tone of our home changed. There was a new respect for our children and for us as parents, and a refreshing air of love in our home. The anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness I had experienced while growing up in my home was being replaced through Godly advice. This way of disciplining our daughters was so revolutionary and incredible that our daughters actually began coming to us when they sensed they had done something wrong so that they could be lovingly disciplined.
At times, I just smiled as I thought back on how faithful God had been to rescue me from what I knew was wrong in my heart regarding disciplining my precious children.
I hope this testimony helps many of you. It was such a revelation to me and built a lasting, Godly, healthy foundation of love and trust in our home.
To God be the glory…
Mark